Archive for ‘Distinguish yourself’
Ways to distinguish yourself #202 – Avoid common mis-attributions
By Rajesh Setty on Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:32 PM – 5 Comments
It is a problem if you are “smart” and “lazy” as you can explain away several things to your convenience. One way for coming with “explanations of convenience” is to mis-attribute things.
If you want to distinguish yourself, you can avoid common mis-attributions AND stop playing mind games.
I have chosen a few mis-attributions to jumpstart your thinking. This list is in no way complete and please feel free to add/modify the list. The idea is not to get the list right but to get into the practice of noticing mis-attributions in your daily life and shun it.
So, here is the mis-attribution list:
1. “Hard work due to incompetence” mis-attributed to “Going the extra mile”
2. “Ineffectiveness” mis-attributed to “Wanting to be a nice person”
[Hat tip for this tip: Nipa Shah of Jenesys Group]
3. “Unable to decide what to do in life” mis-attributed to “Still figuring out options”
4. “Unable to make money” mis-attributed to “Not interested in money”
5. “Not being on time” mis-attributed to “Slow and steady wins the race”
6. “Unable to take tough decisions” mis-attributed to “Thinking about all options”
7. “Unable to have a difficult conversation” mis-attributed to “Wanting to be politically correct”
8. “Not getting things done” mis-attributed to “Wanting to be a perfectionist”
9. “Unable to get good help” mis-attributed to “Trying to figure it all out alone”
10. “Unable to contribute to the world” mis-attributed to “Swamped with work and unable to find time”
All the best!
=====================
Note 1: Here are links to the other 200 articles in the series
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code – Distinguish Yourself #1 – #50
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code -Distinguish Yourself #51 – #100
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code -Distinguish Yourself #101 – #100
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code -Distinguish Yourself #151 – #200
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to distinguish yourself #201 – Tell the right story to the right people.
By Rajesh Setty on Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:41 AM – Leave Comment
Only few people will have story that is so grand as the story of Taj Mahal. Or the beauty of the Niagara. Or the size of the Grand Canyon. That won’t prevent us from telling stories everyday. We are telling stories to others and we are telling stories to ourselves. We are even telling stories to ourselves about stories we are telling stories to others. We live in our stories.
The point is – whether you want or not – others are expecting that you will tell them stories. Good stories. Stories that will mean something to them. If those stories ALSO mean something to you, it’s good but that’s really not their concern – they just want to hear good stories. Plain and simple.
This is a good thing because if you know how to tell a good story, you will have a big audience. But remember that if they don’t get to hear stories that are relevant to them, they also switch off. And, they switch off – FAST!
So, what’s the big deal, you might ask.
The deal is that when you have a “good” story, you want to tell this to anyone and everyone that might want to listen that story. If you tell that story in all that excitement, people won’t want to curb your excitement so they might “pretend” to listen to your story with great enthusiasm but in their mind they are probably thinking you are wasting their time.
This is all the more important during tough times as “time” is at a premium for everyone during these times. However tempted you are tell your “cool” story – pause and think – “How is this story relevant to the person that I am trying to tell this?” or better yet – “How can I make this story relevant to this person?” If you don’t have a good answer, skip the story and have a great conversation without that story.
Stories are powerful, but ONLY if you use them wisely.
============
Note 1: Here are links to the other 200 articles in the series
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code – Distinguish Yourself #1 – #50
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code -Distinguish Yourself #51 – #100
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code -Distinguish Yourself #101 – #100
Rajesh Setty: Best of Life Beyond Code -Distinguish Yourself #151 – #200
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself, Quought for the Day.
Ways to distinguish yourself #200 – Understand the story behind the story
By Rajesh Setty on Mon 24 Nov 2008, 11:00 PM – Leave Comment
Stories make it easy to communicate something but if the stories are flawed they can just communicate the wrong thing – and, in a compelling way. In other words, stories can help and if you are not careful, they can hurt.
Think about what happened last week. You heard stories from political leaders, you heard stories from media, you heard stories from your boss, you heard stories from your colleagues and you heard stories from even your family members.
Stories are just that – stories. You can make a difference in your life if you can understand the story behind the story.
I am a big fan of Guy Kawasaki. Take the story of Truemors, one of his startups. There was a mixed response for the startup. Guy used the story of how he built the startup for less than $15K. Guy explained how much he spent on everything in great detail. The presentations were engaging (It was Guy who was presenting – so they had to be). In a way, Guy did what he did best – evangelized his new startup. And, it worked. The company saw a big growth in traffic numbers and was finally sold.
I happened to attend one of the presentations and listened to the Truemors story. There was an important point that was missing (not intentional but Guy must have thought it was too obvious to state) – that was the story behind the story. The background story was the story of the price that Guy had paid via his work over 25 years to build his brand. The truth is that Guy and his brand played a VERY big role in how Truemors fared in the marketplace.
It would require a lot of LUCK for someone else (without a brand like Guy’s brand) to attempt building a company like Truemors for less than $15K.
Subsequently Guy added that part of the story in the updated Truemors story in his book “Reality Check“. Honestly even after Guy mentioned that background story explicitly, there will be people who will skip through that and read only what they want to read – and try to repeat what Guy tried to do. Good luck to them.
My first job was a journalist (between ages thirteen and sixteen) and I wrote stories for a local newspaper. I was told repeatedly that I had to introduce “drama” in my writings. My boss would say that if the stories didn’t have drama the newspaper won’t sell.
Drama plays a big role in most of the stories that you hear – so much so that the story behind the story gets completely buried.
It is your job to uncover it.
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 199 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to distinguish yourself #199 – Exit gracefully
By Rajesh Setty on Mon 24 Nov 2008, 7:53 AM – 6 Comments
I have always believed that there are only two kinds of relationships – those that are “long term” and those that are “very long term”. Yes, I am exaggerating a bit but when you approach your relationships and put them into one of those two boxes, your perspective on relationships shift.
In reality though, some relationships have to end in the short-term.
Let us look at one such situation:
Yes, you want to build long-term relationships. But the other person may not want that. If you are building a relationship with someone who thinks “every relationship is there only for his or her advantage” then there is trouble. Unless you want to be “taken advantage of”, maintaining a long-term or very-long-term relationship with this person would be meaningless.
What do you do when this happens?
You can end the relationship kicking and screaming or you can exit gracefully. Most people choose the former approach as they want to “get even” and ensure that the other person “gets the message”.
If you think and stop for a minute you will realize that more often than not, the above logic of “getting even” does not make sense. You have already decided that there is no point in maintaining a long-term relationship with the other person. So, how does it matter whether the other person “gets the message” or not. The time you spend “getting even” is throwing good money over bad money. The other person’s biggest loss has to be you and your relationship in the future. If the other person is reasonably smart, he or she will recognize that. If the other person is not smart enough, trying to teach him that will be even more costly for you anyway. How much time do you want to spend on something that is totally ‘past’ you?
Time is the ultimate scarcity for everyone. You are no exception. When you exit gracefully from a relationship, you just found yourself some “extra” time on your hand. You can decide to use that time however you want. When you decide to keep going back to the past (whatever be the reason) you lost some precious time. Time that you could have used to invest in someone with whom you want to build a long-term relationship.
You are smart – so you make the choice!
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 198 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to distinguish yourself #198 – Don’t focus on the “derivative” at the expense of the “core”
By Rajesh Setty on Sun 02 Nov 2008, 1:02 PM – Leave Comment
First everyone is working on one or more big projects – actually at least two of them – one in professional life and one in personal life.
Every big project is typically made up of several sub-projects or we can call them derivatives of the core project.
Depending on the nature and scope of the project, the sub-projects may be delegated to others. When all the sub-projects are completed, the main project is sort of completed.
Sometimes, it may not work according to the plan (should we say most of the time). A sub-project gets into trouble and you start focusing a lot of your time on that “troubled” sub-project. People who are working on the sub-project may not know that this is part of a grand scheme. They may be thinking that the sub-project is the project. So they start suggesting things that will work very well for the sub-project (probably accelerate it) but the final outcome may not be good for the core project.
If you are not careful, the derivative may take over the core and you will win the sub-project and lose at the core project.
The larger the initiative, higher the chances that you might get into this trap. Since there is no point in life if you are not working on at least one large initiative, you might right now be at the risk of getting into this trap.
All the best!
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 196 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to distinguish yourself #197 – Be comfortable with “Nothing”
By Rajesh Setty on Thu 16 Oct 2008, 10:58 PM – 5 Comments
Take a dot. Put some “nothing” in it and..
You get a doughnut!
Take a doughnut. Put some “nothing” in it and…
You get a zero.
Take a zero. Put some more “nothing” in it and…
You get a bowl.
Take a bowl. Put some more “nothing” in it and…
You get an arc.
Take an arc. Put some more “nothing” in it and..
Yes, you get “nothing”!
“Nothing” plays an important role in our life. It is basically a space of possibility. Imagine speaking without a pause. Without that silence. It will be hard to understand what you are saying. You need that “nothing” in between the something that you are saying otherwise that something will be nothing 
In a way, the “nothing” that surrounds the something will amplify the meaning of something. So not only should you not ignore “nothing” but you should become comfortable with it.
When I started my first company, I was totally uncomfortable with “nothing”. When I reached out to a prospect, I expected that “nothing” should come in between my offer of help to their providing a “purchase order”. “Nothing” would drive me crazy. Something had to be happening all the time. Looking back, it seems silly to expect that – but that’s what is experience all about.
Go ahead and enjoy the “something” by appreciating the “nothing” surrounding it. You will not only be more comfortable, you will put people surrounding you at ease.
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 196 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to distinguish yourself #196 – Be aware of your circle of awareness
By Rajesh Setty on Thu 02 Oct 2008, 1:00 PM – 1 Comment
It requires a lot of maturity to be aware of your circle of awareness. This is one of the areas where “ignorance is definitely NOT bliss”.
What you want is typically within your circle of awareness.
If “what you need” to reach your goals is outside of this circle of awareness, you may not make an attempt to get it because you just don’t know that such a thing exists.
So what do you do to get in sync?
Here are a few quick options:
1. Read more to increase your awareness: This is probably the lowest cost no-brainer option. Expand your library and you expand your awareness.
2. Find a Mentor: A mentor can help you raise your awareness sometimes slowly but sometimes in just one meeting.
3. Use the right tools: How can you find something you need when you can only search with “what you want”? That’s where tools like Rawsugar will come in.
4. Attend Events that stretch your imagination: If you have never been to a museum, go and visit one. If you have never been to an art exhibition go to one. Be curious and go there with an open mind.
The above are ONLY examples of ways of expanding your circle of awareness. Go ahead and stretch your imagination and find ways to stretch the circle of awareness.
All the best!
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 195 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to distinguish yourself #195 – Stop sending “MeMails”
By Rajesh Setty on Tue 23 Sep 2008, 4:11 PM – 2 Comments
I am using a personal example here but I have talked on this topic to MANY people and the experience has been the same.
Today I received a mail from an acquaintance. It was a long email about a milestone that their organization achieved. It included a detailed explanation of what the milestone was with quotes from company executives in all colors. Overall what could be said in one sentence was said in more than a page.
Remembering from earlier emails from this contact, I have never received anything in the past that was not a “Me Mail”.
There has been never anything that is of relevance to me.
Unfortunately from now on, I will move this contact to a “Me Mail” list.
I have a few other acquaintances who are in this list. All their emails are detailed descriptions of something that is
a) relevant to them
b) totally irrelevant to me
They are all on the “Me Mail” list.
Now, what do I do with the emails from people on the “Me Mail” list.
The answer is simple – Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I don’t have to bother to read them anymore because I am “almost certain” that there will be nothing of relevance to me in their emails.
Emails are usually read. MeMails are usually discarded.
I have talked to a number of people that I respect and their strategy, while not exactly same is similar on these topics.
Do NOTHING!
I am sure you are not one of the people who are sending MeMails. If you are, then I BEG you to stop sending them.
And, may be, MAY BE start sending YouMails 
Cheers and have a great week ahead!
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 194 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to Distinguish Yourself #194 – Copy “being” rather than copying “Doing”
By Rajesh Setty on Sat 20 Sep 2008, 4:00 AM – 5 Comments
You aim to become like someone (may be a role model, hero or just someone that you aspire to become) and start copying what they are “doing”. You soon realize that you are not getting the results that they are getting.
Simple reason – you are not them.
You simply cannot recreate everything else that is “unique” to them like
– their history
– their background
– their mindset
– their teachers
– their relationships
– their support structure (family, friends, co-workers, mentors etc.)
– their outlook on life
– their perspective
– their knowledge
I can go on but the list is VERY long.
If you even want to have a chance at this, you have to start copying their “being” rather than focusing on their “doing”.
Being, in simple terms, is who they are. AND, not just what they do.
What they do may be effective because of who they are.
If you are trying to do what they do without being who they are, chances are – you won’t get the results they are getting.
Copying “being” is not easy. But who said that you would get a premium by doing something that’s VERY easy to do
Have a great weekend!
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 193 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.
Ways to Distinguish Yourself #193 – Watch your Effort-Value Curve
By Rajesh Setty on Mon 25 Aug 2008, 9:47 PM – Leave Comment
When you are at the beginning of your career, you really work hard and for all that effort the “real value” that you add may not be that significant.
This may not be a problem as people know that you are just “starting.”
As you learn and become better at your job, it takes less effort to “do” your job and you can start creating more value with less effort. In other words you start becoming “efficient.”
Yes, when you start getting comfortable with your job you may get bored and get another job. That’s a possibility. However, in the new job, you are “new” so again it takes a bit of effort to create value demanded by the job.
In an ideal scenario, as your career progresses, the effort required to deliver value should keep dropping or the value delivered for the same effort should keep going up.
However, there is a small catch.
With your experience, the expectation of the value that you will create is also going up. Unless you build enough “power”, you will very soon notice that you have to work “extra hard” to match the expectations of the job. Nobody will be happy if you created the value that is created by a novice when you have are a veteran. It won’t even be called an accomplishment.
The more knowledge you acquire, the more you realize that you need to acquire more knowledge. However, without leverage (higher output for lower input) there is no time for you to acquire the knowledge. So for the benefit of your organization and for your own benefit, you need to watch the effort-value curve.
So the big questions are:
1. Where are you today on this curve?
2. What can you do to move to a better place on this curve?
==========
Note 1: For links to the other 192 entries in the “Distinguish yourself” series, please visit my Squidoo lens on the same topic:
Squidoo Lens: Distinguish yourself
Note 2: The first 25 entries in the series have been packaged in a ChangeThis manifesto that was published on September 07, 2005. You can download that manifesto here:
ChangeThis Manifesto: 25 Ways to Distinguish Yourself (PDF, Free)
Note 3: My latest manifesto on ChangeThis was published on August 6, 2008. This is a photographic manifesto featuring 15 of my mini sagas (stories in exactly 50 words). Here is the link:
ChangeThis Manifesto: Mini Sagas – Bite Sized Lessons for Life and Business (PDF, Free)
Posted under Distinguish yourself.