I don’t need anything…

I don’t need anything…

By Rajesh Setty on Fri 30 Mar 2007, 12:29 PM – 3 Comments

A close friend shared his recent experience with one of his colleagues from the past – John (not his real name).

John was seeking some advice from my friend as he was starting his new business. My friend was happy to help him out. After one meeting, John continued to call my friend stating he really didn’t anything else – just some advice. In the third meeting, John wanted my friend to introduce him to a few potential clients and a few potential investors. What John told him was “I really don’t want to take more than 30 minutes of your time. If you send five or ten emails to these customers and investors introducing me, I will take it up from there”

Guess how many introductions he got? NONE.

What was John’s problem?

Actually, there were many. Let me list a few:

1st Problem:  John wanted to get help but did not want to acknowledge that he was getting help. Probably because if he acknowledged, he would have to reciprocate. John’s trick (that backfired) – not acknowledge the help received.

2nd Problem:  Equated time spent with the value received. He thought the value that my friend provided was the time he spent on making those introductions. That is hardly the case. If it was, anybody could spend those 30 minutes and make those introductions. An introduction to a person of power may be one of the biggest favors that someone can make to you. Not acknowledging that is a SIN.

3rd Problem:  He sort of insulted my friend by trying to “sneak in” and get the benefit “under the radar” What my friend was upset about most was that John undermined his intelligence to see through John’s game.

John’s loss:

As you can see, the big loss was the “loss of mind share” of my friend.


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3 Comments so far, Add Yours

Anonymous  on March 31st, 2007

Also, you left out the fact that these “Johns” will now feel absolutely insulted and hurt that “Jack” did not furnish those introductions, and will go on to bad mouth all the good Jacks in public or at other places.

Not only has he lost mindshare with Jack, but will continue losing it with other friends in the circle. Good point.

Anonymous  on April 1st, 2007

Good point – well at the same time, it hurts “Jack” as well to an extent. In the process it is possible that Jack’s deposits in Emotional Bank Accounts (as Dr.Stephen Covey terms it) or Personal Integrity accounts may diminish when such bad mouthing happens (at least until the truth is known). That’s one of the problems in the society today. People support as long as one is nice and helpful.

However, I still believe that as far as the personal integrity accounts are strong and live by the priciples no badmouthing can hurt any way.There is still a fine line.

Anonymous  on April 4th, 2007

Interesting post. One of the problems is that John was in fact needing something, but was not willing to offer anything in return. In one of my recent posts entitled “Effective networkers are givers,” I called this “crisis networking.” This type of networking is counterproductive.

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